Damn it, Valentine!!!

where are you, exactly, anyway?
ok, so my phone died last night. i tried to call my valentine with emilys phone. didnt pick up. tried the house. same thing.
so i woke up this morning. tried all three phones. no response. i said happy vday via txt this morn with mine, too-no response.

WTF!?

anyway. so. i'm kinda pissed. i really wanted to talk to my valentine... but whatever.
and i know that this is irrelevant because its not like hes here to give me anything and its not like i expect anything at all but im sorta jealous of em cuz her bf got her a HUGE rele soft puppy dog, an amethyst ring & matching bracelet & a bouquet of flowers... amethyst is my favorite, it's my birth stone. it's so pretty...especially when it's not just purple. like when it's got the pinkish hue, y'know? it's so nice...
but its not like i even have anything, so i dont expect anything. i mean were not even dating, we just r in love.......not a reason to talk on valentines day or anything.....whatever. i dont want any present. i just wish i could talk to him..............

whatever. bye, blogspot.... happy valentines day.

A Green Understanding

stupid poem i wrote...............................



A Green Understanding

My heart clutches

WHen I hear what you say

I understand completely

I'm even more guilty of this

But I feel the monster
It bites at my heart
Gnaws on my mind

My imagination tortures me

I hate to think that she--

--Some unnamed girl,

Come out of air--

Would be in my place.

It makes my heart race.

My stomach turns

And the image burns

In my mind

And in my heart

I feel a wound

I understand

The green monster

Gives me pain & grief

It moves in every one of my limbs

Urges me to tear, kill, thrash, hit

Anything and everything

Within my reach

I force down the urge

And I stifle a sob

I understand now.

The green monster grins,

My torn and bleeding heart

Clasped in his jaws.

I try to sleep

But receive no mercy.

Now, I understand.
And I'm sorry.

like i said.............dumb poem :p